text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

[righteously]

Go figure, I'm FBI, small universe
Could you at least do me a favor
If I give you a list of descriptions, could you keep an eye out

[pridecroweth]

Lead singer of Led Zeppelin, secretly in the FBI? You're stretching my suspension of disbelief, señor.

But sure. I'll keep a weather eye. Since you asked so nice.

[righteously]

What can I say, I got a whole lot of love
for the law

It's Dean.


Give me a shout if you see:
-a seven foot tall long-haired dude built like a moose with eyes like a golden retriever
-a skinny kid, early 20s, seems like he should be wearing velcro shoes at bible camp
-a busybody therapist
-benedict cumberbatch
-a bossy blonde, you'll know her because she'll make you wanna blow your brains out within 15 mins
-a guy who's personality is just Alabama
-anybody claiming to be god
-anyone who says the name Winchester

@lance

[lifetothefullest]

Busybody? Wow. I see how it is.

[righteously]

hey, look who traveled through friggin space and time to prove my point

[lifetothefullest]

I really did prove your point, didn't I.

[Oops. Whatever. He has totally not been stalking this post the entire time.]

But it's good to be in the same weird multiverse with you again.

[righteously]

I gotta hand it to you, man, you are hands-down the most persistent therapist I've ever had

( also, the only one. also, not his therapist. )

[lifetothefullest]

To be fair, I was here first, so maybe you just like therapy.

[And okay, sure, he's not Dean's therapist, but if it means winning the conversation he'll totally play along for the moment.]

[righteously]

Wait, how long have you been here?

[lifetothefullest]

I think it's been a few months now. If you're asking because no time has passed for you, that's pretty normal, so don't worry about it.

[righteously]

Not exactly
I went home for a while before I got here

[lifetothefullest]

That's normal too.

[But has different issues that go along with it, which he definitely wants to ask about but won't on the network. So instead--]

Are you still in the Theatre?

[That's where they set new people up, but then again he doesn't expect Dean to stay put, so worth asking.]

[righteously]

No, that place reeks of angry thespians.

( hue hue hue )

I'm in the sorry excuse for a mess hall where they're pretending like they're serving real food

[lifetothefullest]

Can't imagine why.

Okay, I'll come find you.

[pridecroweth]

My keen ability to detect sarcasm is going haywire. Nobody loves the law, not even the cops.

（ sam is very team #acab, but that's chicago PD for you. ）

Sam.

And that is a very specific list of very specific people. I see one of the guys I was talking about came in and made himself at home already.

（ small world indeed. ）

[righteously]

Sam's my brother's name, coincidentally
He's the moose on the list



Yeah, as it turns out they DO move in herds

[pridecroweth]

I'm like a quarter Canadian, makes for good moose wrangling skills.

（ ha, ha. ）

Let me guess. 1980? '81? These references, while sick AF, are narrowing down the timeline considerably.

（ y'all be soundin' like a geriatric millennial, dean-o. ）

[righteously]

excuse me

( how dare u, u bitch )

[pridecroweth]

Look, there's no Denny's parking lot for us to brawl in so if that's where you're headed with that you better square up.

[righteously]

I'll settle for a Waffle House, I'm all set on my grand slam quota

[pridecroweth]

Christ, you just reminded me how much I miss Waffle House.

Sadly, your options here are limited to gray protein bar or slightly more gray protein bar.

[righteously]

Yeah, I figured that much out
and I thought the last place was bad


I can't believe I'm saying this, but
I'd settle for turkey bacon

That feels so wrong
I need another shower

[pridecroweth]

Careful, words like that you may as well call yourself a vegan.

[righteously]

That's it, you're getting a stone cold stunner

[pridecroweth]

Mock-fear:

Oh no, how will I live?