text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

[righteously]

alright, I'll give you that one
you're un-nemesised
but you're on thin ice pal

[pridecroweth]

I'm a detective from Chicago, thin ice is a specialty of mine.

Nice to meet you too.

[righteously]

Chicago huh
My condolences

[pridecroweth]

If Anish Kapoor could mind his own fucking business it wouldn't be that bad.

（ anish kapoor, patenter of the color black, creator of the bean. he's a prick. ）

[righteously]

Huh. I knew that one. Look at that, late night Jeopardy's finally paying off.

Gotta hand it to him, no other douchebag's ever managed to make a hundred thousand people wanna flick the same bean before

[pridecroweth]

The Heff would beg to differ.

[righteously]

The Heff isn't a douchebag, he's a national treasure

[pridecroweth]

Oh, I see this is how we're circling back around to the nemeses wagon.

Because the man could be both at once TBQH.

[righteously]

Sounds like somebody's jealous they don't own a bunny ranch

[pridecroweth]

Nah, the ex-wife would kill me. And she's a former cop, she'd know how to get away with it.

My vengeful ghost would have to come be the plucky sidekick to a grizzled detective forty years on. Above my paygrade, man.

[righteously]

I'll hook you up with a bonafide ghostbuster for a swift mercy re-killing, don't sweat it.

[pridecroweth]

Golly, Mr. Plant, what a peach you are.

Can you get Kate McKinnon though?

[righteously]

I know you didn't just bring up the remake

[pridecroweth]

This conversation has been about 90 percent you judging my stance on perfectly acceptable pop culture phenomenons.

I'm really starting to think all that BS about loving the law was well and truly a lie.

Is that really the foundation you want to build on here, pal?

[righteously]

I'm gonna level with you, that's most of my personality
I hear it grows on you, kind of like a tumor

Come on now, Sammy. Where's the trust?

[pridecroweth]

Somewhere to the left of ever being called 'Sammy' again.

[righteously]

Yeah, that's what they all say

( 'all' meaning 'his brother' )

[pridecroweth]

Uh huh.

Consider this my officially lodged complaint against your department of fraternal familiarity, Deanie.

[righteously]

Noted, I'll put it in the filing cabinet

[pridecroweth]

War flashbacks to Chicago PD's archival system but carry on.

[righteously]

You guys gotta get with the times
Home office is all digital now

[pridecroweth]

Tell that to the secretary who still thinks it's 1989 on the weekends.

Though I'm not one to talk, I've owned the same iPod since like 2002.

[righteously]

I didn't jump on the iPod train until like 2014
I've said it before and I'll say it again, cassette tapes are still better
Digital just doesn't have the same kinda magic

[pridecroweth]

I actually agree with that, please imagine me aghast.

Old car? Truck?

[righteously]

67 Chevy Impala