text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[dissemblance]

I'm sorry you're too old to appreciate art, Non Denominational Gender Address Barnes.

（ whom she definitely does not know, associate with, etc. ）

[wittingly]

I was just about to answer that when I realized how much I complain about the traumatic Californian stereotyping I endure constantly.

Turns out they were right, you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

@marion.adamopoulos

[cleaningsolutions]

37 languages? How many of them are human?

[cryptoherpetology]

I'd been living in the Midwest long enough to take it as a compliment. I think.

[sunmon]

Maybe in your days.
That one's true.
What do you have instead of a royal family? Kerch has a merchant council, I think, but I don't know much about how it works.

[wittingly]

Well, for what it's worth the Midwest has done nothing to erase the vibe 'I'm from Seattle and I wear comfortable sweaters'

[cryptoherpetology]

Tweed jackets more than sweaters, really. Harder to hide a gun under knitwear.

@weirdshit

[brosbeforeprose]

'Hatchlings' makes me feel like a circle mage's school project.
...sounds accurate.
🦠🦷🧙

Shit, these pictures aren't half bad. You know how many books I had to illustrate myself? Hand write myself? Farewell, year 9:40, it's been real.

[wittingly]

That's quitter talk.

I didn't realize vet science required packing heat, sounds like a stressful career field. Hope the health insurance benefits are good.

@indy

[nonscriptum]

Seems like a hard list to chose from when the first one is DEFINITELY subjective.

@76

[mylawn]

"hatchlings"

🤮

@weaverville

[wittingly]

why must you hurt me this way

@j.benjamin

[cicatrize]

Just because they exist doesn't mean we must use absolutely all of them. 1 is dependent on taste. Assuming that isn't the lie, I pity your lack of latte range. My guess is 3.

1. I'm royalty
2. I head my government's Ministry of Information
3. The culinary staff of an elderly diplomat living out retirement in the hills of Austeria makes the best lattes

[medik]

[ Yakov's gonna assume that's a joke, even though it's not really the brand of humor he's used to. Then again, he's fresh out of the trenches, and there's a lot here that he's not used to. ]

I was under the impression he was male

[nonscriptum]

[ Oops. ]

I'm sorry you've been gaslit into thinking their over-roasted beans are good.

@weaverville

[wittingly]

3 is the lie
It's Starbucks
Sorry man, I'm an engineer, I know these things

[wittingly]

we need to talk about our relationship

[cicatrize]

How does being an engineer make you an expert on gourmet caffeine?

[wittingly]

the fact that you even had to ask means you wouldn't understand

It's complex
Science-y
There's math involved, it's a whole thing

[nonscriptum]

Need I remind you I still manufactured a frappuccino thing for you in spite of your terrible taste.

[cicatrize]

Pretty sure all 3 of those are the lie but ok.
Did an actual accredited academy issue your Science-y degree?

[wittingly]

Okay, yeah, that one earned you a free pass, so you're safe from the couch-hammock

For now

Nathan Drake makes the best frappucinos, let it be known across the land. However, we're talking lattes here, Starbucks is still #1.

[wittingly]

yeah man
I teach it at Berkeley now

Well
I did

[nonscriptum]

I have to forgive you for that transgression, I know you're only saying it because you haven't had a café con leche in a country where they actually grow the crop and know what they're doing.

[cicatrize]

Were you fired once administration realized your classes were centered on proper frothing technique?