text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[cryptoherpetology]

I'd been living in the Midwest long enough to take it as a compliment. I think.

[wittingly]

Well, for what it's worth the Midwest has done nothing to erase the vibe 'I'm from Seattle and I wear comfortable sweaters'

[cryptoherpetology]

Tweed jackets more than sweaters, really. Harder to hide a gun under knitwear.

[wittingly]

That's quitter talk.

I didn't realize vet science required packing heat, sounds like a stressful career field. Hope the health insurance benefits are good.

[cryptoherpetology]

I tend to be involved in some of the more fringe areas of the field. There's also this whole "family blood feud with a secret organization of genocidal zealots" thing, but that's sometimes hard to work into an introductory conversation.

It definitely made for something of an unorthodox childhood. [ Which may be the mother of all understatements. ]

[wittingly]

how is it that I survived an alien apocalypse and yet I still can't compete with some of you people in the Most Insane Life competition

[cryptoherpetology]

I think maybe surviving an apocolypse means you made up for all that lost time of insanity. My family's been preparing for just about every kind of apocolypse we could think of for as long as I can remember and I was nearly born in a manticore breeding pit.

I'm not sure an un-insane life was ever an option.

[wittingly]

A manticore
breeding
pit

well, I know a guy that was born in a hot tub so unfortunately I think you're gonna need to step your game up

[cryptoherpetology]

Does the pet griffin earn me any points? Turns out he came here with me.

[wittingly]

Nobody likes a Story Topper, Alex










just kidding, yes obviously it earns you points what the fuck are you serious

[cryptoherpetology]

[ He futzes with the smartwatch until he figures out how to take a picture of Crow, who has swapped out the traditional lion/eagle mashup for raven/Maine Coon. The photo was a bit of a struggle because the animal is laying very comfortably on his chest with no desire to move anytime soon.

Turns out Alex is the cryptozoological equivalent to a cat person. ]

His name is Crow. He doesn't seem too inclined to go anywhere without me just yet, but he'll probably wander a bit more around the camp once he's assured himself I'm not going to disappear again.

[wittingly]

I need to ask you a very important question




Can I pet him

[cryptoherpetology]

Of course.

Whether he lets you stop is between the two of you, though.

[wittingly]

if you ever need anyone to matterbend you a tiny hat for a griffin, let me know, I'm the leader in the industry

[cryptoherpetology]

I think he might peck both of our eyes out if we even thought about it too hard.

Feel free to play around with designing griffin toys though. He's a little too smart for my own good sometimes, so anything that might keep him occupied would be great.

[wittingly]

Yeah, that's fair, I'd probably do the same thing

I don't think you understand what you've just done
Please describe to me in detail variants of griffin toys

[cryptoherpetology]

It's a smaller project than an electron microscope at least.

Crow has the curiosity and prey drive of a cat and the intelligence, flight and simple tool using capabilities of a raven. Honestly, back home I used to buy him a lot of stuff meant for toddlers.

[wittingly]

I can work with that
I'll see you in 3 days for beta testing