text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[wittingly]

the fact that you even had to ask means you wouldn't understand

It's complex
Science-y
There's math involved, it's a whole thing

[cicatrize]

Pretty sure all 3 of those are the lie but ok.
Did an actual accredited academy issue your Science-y degree?

[wittingly]

yeah man
I teach it at Berkeley now

Well
I did

[cicatrize]

Were you fired once administration realized your classes were centered on proper frothing technique?

[wittingly]

no, we had an apocalypse, but close guess

[cicatrize]

Oh, that old world's end excuse.
What was it? Plague, famine, asteroid?

[wittingly]

Aliens

My degrees didn't really meet their requirements

[cicatrize]

Aliens. Huh.
Not the twist I was expecting.
And yet you survived to extraterrestrial culling, so your science-y education must've provided some use, beverage connoisseurship aside.

[wittingly]

it came in handy eventually, but it definitely wasn't my quick thinking and badass impulses that saved me from the initial culling

that credit goes to my stoned TA

MA BOI

[cicatrize]

Somehow I missed the scripture with "and the baked shall inherit the Earth".

never 4get

[wittingly]

meek was a mistranslation, don't worry, we were just as confused as you are

[cicatrize]

I imagine you had bigger, more extraterrestrial things to be confused about at the time. How was humanity faring when you left? Improving, or still hurtling towards the extinction?

[wittingly]

Definitely the latter.