text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

@76

[mylawn]

"hatchlings"

🤮

[dissemblance]

I mean, what would you call a bunch of interdimensional strangers who woke up in eggs?

I have to say, I like 'Hatchlings' at least an ounce more than 'Gigerlings', which I feel was probably the other option.

[mylawn]

kidnapped

You can pick something that doesn't remind everyone of the slime

@s.rogers

[fossils]

⬆

[mylawn]

This guy knows what he's about

[dissemblance]

Stop, please. I can only handle so many grizzled old men in my life being disaffected and gruff.

[mylawn]

Scared to ask what you define as 'old'

[HE MET STEVE...STEVE IS LIKE...THIRTY...]

[dissemblance]

All life's an anime.

Old is like, twenty-one.

（ oh, now this positively ancient almost-forty year old is just being meta. ）

[mylawn]

I'm crumbling to dust as we speak.

[dissemblance]

（ too soon. it's such an innocuous statement but it really hits her in a way she wasn't anticipating, and for a moment she has to remind herself how to breathe around the sudden panic and the grief.

get it together, romanoff. ）

Ha ha.

I'll put you in a planter. Fertilizer. 😘

lmao did not even think about that

[mylawn]

At least then I'll be good for something.

[fossils]

Just the second part.

[ Not about being kidnapped. ]

[mylawn]

I'm not saying the locals kidnapped us.

[fossils]

Thought I should clarify.

[ Either way. ]

[mylawn]

Not one for conspiracy theories?

[fossils]

Just like to be sure I'm aiming at the right guy before I throw a punch.

But I've seen enough aliens now to keep an open mind.

[mylawn]

See, aliens are new to me.

[dissemblance]

Accidentally kidnapped at best.

I don't feel like these people woke up one morning and decided they really wanted a bunch of interdimensional and intertemporal travelers dumped in their laps.

So I'm going to preemptively put you down as a 'no' for Jell-O wrestling night?

[mylawn]

End result is the same.

My jell-o wrestling days are over, unfortunately

[dissemblance]

Somebody's no fun at all.

How do you expect to survive on a barren alien-ridden world where the coffee tastes like three day old dirt that's been microwaved for flavor without a sense of humor?

[mylawn]

I had fun once. It was awful.

Coffee's not so bad.

[dissemblance]

Grizzled, battle worn, never to return again to the fields of feckless fun? I know a few people like that.

What I do not know, however, is anyone who would think the coffee's good. You're the very first.

[mylawn]

When you're as old as me, you've almost always had worse.

[figlia_morbida]

This response is the only worthwhile use of emoji. Thank you.

[mylawn]

If you're going to use an emoji you need to make it count