text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

[righteously]

What, because crow's so much better?

Feathery bastard stole my protein bar. I swear to god, he looked me square in the eyes while he ate it

[cryptoherpetology]

My sister named him. You can take it up with her if she hatches her way here. [ Technically, she manipulated Alex into renaming him. It does suit him better than Poe would have, he only ever looks sullen when he wants attention. ]

Sorry about that. People have been feeding him those a little too often lately and this kind of thing is why I keep telling them to stop. I'll pay you back with another protein bar, or some stuff you can trade for a few of them. [ Taking care of Crow is sometimes a bit too similar to having a toddler. Especially when he's been enabled by older kids and and at least one stoned engineer to think anything he can reach is for the taking. ]

I took a double shift in the aid station. I usually need something to remind me to take a break anyway. [ He's been organizing pipettes by diameter to avoid dealing with reality. This is totally normal. ]

[righteously]

No
don't
stop
don't do that
don't do the whole
sincere relatable apologetic
thing

Damn it, now it just feels like I punched a bunny

[cryptoherpetology]

I've worked with the public and with animals a lot. Despite the bowtie, Crow isn't a badly trained poodle.

But for future reference, scolding him enough will usually stop him from doing something. Usually. His species may be a miracle of convergent evolution, but enough of it's feline that I can't make any promises.

Trying to punch him is a really bad idea, he's a lot more equipped for defense than a bunny. I'm assuming it didn't land, since you haven't mentioned nearly enough bleeding.
[ Two back claws, two talons and a beak make for a whole lot of pointy ends when he's upset about something. ]

[righteously]

No, dude
you
you're the bunny in this scenario

soft, fuzzy, the general vibe of somebody that eats carrots

[cryptoherpetology]

I've been told I give off a "public access TV host vibe." [ And he's not going to do or say anything to the contrary. If people think he's the second coming of Steve Irwin by way of LeVar Burton and Bill Nye, they're not wondering how many knives he's carrying. ]

If you stop by the aid station and ask for Alex, I'll have the ration bar on hand. Should I keep an eye out for a Zeppelin t-shirt?

[righteously]

I don't appreciate you profiling me okay












but yes

seriously though, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna take your food.
unless it's beef jerky. i'd piggyback a horse for some beef jerky right now.

[cryptoherpetology]

You're literally using the frontman's name as a pseudonym. It wasn't a huge leap that you'd be a fan.

If we could find a steady enough protein source that didn't also see us as one, I'd be making jerky by now.

[righteously]

Okay but when you start on project jerky
Just remember who you owe right now
I'm not kidding
If I'm not first in line for jerky, we got problems

[cryptoherpetology]

I'll remember to give you dibs on the alien meat jerky on account of my pet griffin's growing kleptomaniac tendencies.

[ Yep. Totally normal thing to say. ]

[righteously]

Thank you

( AKA he is so desensitized to weird by now he doesn't even flinch at that frankly bonkers way of putting it )

[cryptoherpetology]

If you can lift heavy things for the engineering team, they'll usually share the liquor. The sanitation team grows what I'm sure is a pretty potent strain of cannabis that they'll share with labor volunteers. Other people seem to find those to be helpful when adjusting to this.

[righteously]

Yes
good
now THERE'S somebody stepping up to be helpful, finally
point me to the booze, which direction is engineering, I'll haul whatever