text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

@oakland

[spacedicks]

seconded
im here for that blazed lizard ted talk

[righteously]

Listen, a man's gotta have his limits
It's raining alien catdogs and we can't spare a little tap water for a trauma shower? Are you kidding me?

[wittingly]

we are so overdue

( it's a hard knock stoner life without your best partner in stoned, he's been braving these treacherous weed waters with only the occasional guest star )

[spacedicks]

yeah acid alien catdogs
u wanna go take a 30 minute soak in that be my guest
until we science up a machine to de-acid that rain ur trauma showers are cut bro

[righteously]

what's the timeline on that, bill nye?

[spacedicks]

ok kids TAKE A LOOK AT THIS
so approach this from the saltwater > freshwater set up
desalination takes a metric fuckton of energy and we dont even live in a shanty town
we're straight up skywalker shoved into the dead husk of his tundra camel here
minus the snow which wouldve actually helped a lot, so even skywalker's better off than we are on the water front
that huge energy cost only puts out enough water to hold over a few people in comparison
we'd need an entire plant built, staffed, and running 24/7 to handle this entire camp population
thats IF we have a reliable process for breaking whatever chemical bonds the acid's formed in dissolving into the rain water
the safe drinking water and hydroponics we have now come out of ground water and purification tablets, im guessing
tho on this planet, with acid-rain as frequent as it is, its seriously sketch how long term exposure to whatever toxins have gotten mixed into the soil will damage the human system
but ig we'll see, congrats on being the guinea pig
ISN'T THAT WILD?

without a freshwater lake/river/aqueduct, we're hardcore fucked
harvesting groundwater is Slow. As. Balls (talking hours for just a mouthful of water)
also, weakens the ground itself so since we have sinkholes all over Puff The Deceased Dragon's graveyard already - not a great long term solution
might be able to tap the local fauna but there's no telling what they absorb from what sources of water and how safe that is for drinking
needs a lot of research and i only know maybe 4 or 5 dudes qualified to do it here

so timeline for safe showers maxing out at 5 minutes instead of 3?
if you're planning on prioritizing ur trauma showers over expanding hydroponics and drinking/cooking water
at least a 6 months - a year if you have half the staff to research + invent + construct a high-efficiency process and run the thing

anyway SCIENCE RULES but it's fucking expensive and slow
you call me bill nye again and you best have a bowtie gift to back that shit up with

[spacedicks]

fam i'm processing a lot of shit im way too fucking sober for rn
please
get me lit and slap me down in front of a dude making me nostalgic for geico

[ you've suffered too long, comrade. he's here to reinstate 'wanna do drugs about it' hour and get you a less liver damaging vice to cope with this new dumb alien fuckery. ]

[righteously]

too long didn't read, I'm gonna assume the wall of text means go hang out in the public baths with the guys who have way more self-confidence than they should being that naked

great

thanks for the status update

( he read it he's just an ass )

[wittingly]

I missed you so much I'm tearing up right now

I'm all outta love
I'm so lost without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

( he's used to being the only wall of text about this shit it's just
it's touching his heart )

[spacedicks]

ask stupid questions, get annoyingly accurate answers
use nye's name in vain, suffer the science for it
fuck around and find out

np bud
ps keep ur eyes to urself in the baths - problem solved

[wittingly]

you're not in any way prepared for this:
dr. alex has a pet griffin
he wears bow ties

[righteously]

your face is a stupid question

( you lil
smart
annoying
lil shit with your unexpected
punking him out
shut up )

[spacedicks]

Don't cry for me, Argentina
The truth is
I never left you

bby im always in ur heart
probably a pat benatar song about it but madonna's my girl + i'm not lame

[ this ho actually asked him to deacidify alien rain just to take longer showers, ian, can u believe
dean's lucky he didn't just get slapped
grade F on ur survival paper, winchester ]

[spacedicks]

not as stupid as ur deep-fry over bbq opinion

[ fight him, boomer ]

[wittingly]

The real adventure was the friendships we made along the way / the real aliens were inside us all along
(technically kind of true in your case now that I think about it)

Pat Benatar lame?
Silence thineself padawan
Forgive him mother, for he knows not what he says

( he knows, man
trust him
he knows
he's seen this guy in 2 universes now and he still calls Ian 'that hipster from Avatar'. there's no helping him man, don't waste your time. )

[righteously]

excuse you, I'm an equal opportunity comfort food lover
get your facts straight

[spacedicks]

i think u mean dr. pet griffin
i automatically respect anything with a bow tie 20x more than anything without
is dr. griffin attending the herbal ted talk too?

[wittingly]

nah I tried a stethoscope, he didn't like that one so much, no passion for the medical field
who can blame him, it's a lot of stress for somebody with talons

he kept the law enforcement badge on for a while though
deputy griffin is bound to show up, considering I've been overfeeding him he tends to hover, much to dr. alex's chagrin

[spacedicks]

if the all-mother shuns me for shaming cheesy 80s power ballads i will face god and walk backwards into hell

dude if i get a Judge chest-burster i hope it goes for ur throat first for this speaking truth to power shit
thanks for the new nightmares

[spacedicks]

so put some flavor into your domestic terror, deep-fry is for fast food chains and people who dont care about being slow-murdered by cholesterol
0 talent or technique required
The South gave us some great food gifts but rank accordingly if ur roasting some dude's pet like a sociopath for it

[wittingly]

too much hubris always was Saenz's problem, I will say at your eulogy

[righteously]

If you've gone as long as I have without fast food you wouldn't be slandering it right now
at this point if it's my cholesterol that finally takes me out I'll consider it a win

( this dumbass has no idea, sorry apocalypse survivor. he knows jack squat about Ian's life due to the magic of me not tagging myself sry to break ur immersion rn )

either way it turns out the dude's like a disney-eyed mr. rogers so i can't in good conscience eat his bird

but I want it on record the damn chicken deserves it for stealing my lunch

"lunch"
piss poor excuse for what we're calling "lunch"

[spacedicks]

ok but you better slide it 'he had fuckin great hair, like woke up like this flawless beyonce levels great '

[spacedicks]

he doesnt have to be a doctordoctor to have a doctorate
dont u have one?
like whatd u do trade a bag of cheetos for it?

acab, dude
dont fuck with dr griffins integrity with that
i know cali legalized it but a deputy at hot boxed ted talk is a downer
maybe chef griffin, he could be a master chef

[wittingly]

I'll definitely mention you said that