text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

[righteously]

If you've gone as long as I have without fast food you wouldn't be slandering it right now
at this point if it's my cholesterol that finally takes me out I'll consider it a win

( this dumbass has no idea, sorry apocalypse survivor. he knows jack squat about Ian's life due to the magic of me not tagging myself sry to break ur immersion rn )

either way it turns out the dude's like a disney-eyed mr. rogers so i can't in good conscience eat his bird

but I want it on record the damn chicken deserves it for stealing my lunch

"lunch"
piss poor excuse for what we're calling "lunch"

[spacedicks]

2 tours on MREs + army base food in between
then when i finally got leave and a starbucks, fucking aliens popped in to fuck shit up
they put every mcD's and in-n-out thru an intergalactic trash compactor
so like 3 years? 4? sans fast food

[ congrats, dean is informed of the apocalypse (of earth #56784543789). luke's here to bridge all the gaps you need. ]

bro im telling u in a shithole like this just be grateful lunch isnt soylent green

good to know dr griffin's a rations thief tho

[righteously]

nobody likes a story topper

( but also Wtf my dude are you ok )

[spacedicks]

nobody likes a first world problems whiner 🤷🏽
you said if id gone as long as u i wouldnt be slandering
so have i?

[ not at all but ya sure ]

[righteously]

I went to hell for 40 years, but you're coming in real close

( nOBODY TOPS THE STORY TOPPER )

[spacedicks]

hell??
i know i just said alien invasion but dude
thats sus

pls explain

[righteously]

made a deal with a demon
got a year to live
died
went to hell
4 months topside, 40 years downstairs.

[spacedicks]

no offense but that sounds like the stupidest gamble in existence
what was worth that deal?

[righteously]

my brother