text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[freightcars]

your security sucked at that hangar by the way, you should really look into that

( but considering who he is that might not be a fair assessment )

[unclesam]

direct your complaints to torres. I'm just freelancing, ain't in charge of the air force.

[freightcars]

I'll draft up an email

[unclesam]

do you even have an email adress?

[freightcars]

no, my netflix account is subscribed under ye olde telegraph

[unclesam]

yo speaking of, please tell me you've discovered the lord of the rings. or do I get to be the one to introduce you to the hobbit sequel in book and/or movie form?

[freightcars]

I know about it
Read the books
I'm never gonna watch it.

( for Reasons )

[unclesam]

how come?
I mean, aside from us being here, I guess

[freightcars]

Movies always ruin books
it's a matter of principal

[unclesam]

jesus you really are that guy, aren't you
for the record, we're going back to old man barnacle for you, you old curmudgeon

[freightcars]

what guy
what?
i'm right
they never get it right, they leave out half the book

( )

[unclesam]

barnes & noble.
my man.
my dude.

this might shock you to hear, so please sit your geriatric ass down for a moment.

books and movies ain't the same medium. you can't copypaste that shit for an adaptation.

[freightcars]

I know that, sam's club
I've watched movies from books IN GENERAL
but I draw the line at the hobbit
I'm not letting Hollywood ruin that one for me

[unclesam]

sam's club - really? you're lumping me into walmart? that's low

but you know what, I'll give you the hobbit. don't watch those. there's three, and no one knows why.
but the lord of the rings movies are treasures, you complete heathen.

[freightcars]

I couldn't think of anything better in the moment

considering how fast you folded on the hobbit, I'm not sure I trust your judgment

[dissemblance]

My best guess is jamesbbarnes1917@yahoo.com 🙃

[unclesam]

oh he would include a date wouldn't he

[freightcars]

okay it's NOT
but what's wrong with that? that's a perfectly good email address.

( ah yes you have reached the limit on his assimilation into pop culture. specific, dated internet trends are just a little too niche. )

[unclesam]

oh my god yours has underscores, hasn't it?
I bet it does.

[freightcars]

so what if it did? we're judging underscores now too?

[unclesam]

no, we're judging dates.
we're reading underscores for filth.

[freightcars]

what
the hell does that even mean?

you know what
I don't care
none of you are ever getting my email address

[unclesam]

oh yeah I'm heartbroken I can't you an email from a place that doesn't even have that kinda option to begin with.

hey, why don't you see what google tells you about what 'read something for filth' means? oh right. no dice.

[freightcars]

can you just
shut up
at all
ever

[unclesam]

I possess the ability
hypothetically