text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[dissemblance]

My best guess is jamesbbarnes1917@yahoo.com 🙃

[unclesam]

oh he would include a date wouldn't he

[freightcars]

okay it's NOT
but what's wrong with that? that's a perfectly good email address.

( ah yes you have reached the limit on his assimilation into pop culture. specific, dated internet trends are just a little too niche. )

[unclesam]

oh my god yours has underscores, hasn't it?
I bet it does.

[freightcars]

so what if it did? we're judging underscores now too?

[unclesam]

no, we're judging dates.
we're reading underscores for filth.

[freightcars]

what
the hell does that even mean?

you know what
I don't care
none of you are ever getting my email address

[unclesam]

oh yeah I'm heartbroken I can't you an email from a place that doesn't even have that kinda option to begin with.

hey, why don't you see what google tells you about what 'read something for filth' means? oh right. no dice.

[freightcars]

can you just
shut up
at all
ever

[unclesam]

I possess the ability
hypothetically