text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[nonscriptum]

I became jaded for all other coffees by the coffee I grew up on in Medellín. As I understand it that makes me a monster.

That said, I'm going to say #2 is the lie because I'm sensing some righteous indignation over #1.

1. My birthday is April Fool's Day.
2. I've gotten lost in a WalMart.
3. I've survived falling out of a plane without a parachute.

[dissemblance]

Well, Columbia knows their beans. I'm sorry for your tastebuds, which are spoiled, and which do in fact make you a monster. Not everyone can be so lucky.

Ding ding, we have a winner. Unfortunately the only prize I can offer you is egg goop or rat parts, so... pick your poison.

I've got to say 3 for you. How would that even be possible?

（ so sayeth natasha romanoff, who survived worse than that until she didn't. but it's the one that intrigues her, even though she suspects it's probably the red herring of truth. ）

[nonscriptum]

Can I opt out of the biohazards and call in my chit later?

Swing and a miss. I actually got really lucky. The plane caught fire and a hole blew through the fuselage and ripped the cabin open. I got sucked out and managed to grab onto one of the cargo drops while falling before deploying the chute.

So I guess technically I did have a parachute, it just wasn't meant for people.

[dissemblance]

Is your name Jason Bourne????

[nonscriptum]

It's Nathan Drake, but I appreciate the comparison

[dissemblance]

Still sounds a little like one of those action hero names.

You don't travel to exotic locales to jump out of helicopters, do you?

（ this is a Joke. ）