text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[dissemblance]

Yep.

Think of it like hieroglyphics for the modern age.

[dissemblance]

Movie. I mean, at least the version I saw.

Huh. So what did she do?

（ road to hell. she's been there, and she's curious. ）

[dissemblance]

Well, there's something to be said for pulpy and smutty. Sounds like high praise to me.

And I've got to go with you, there. These Magi guys sound pretty uptight... did any of them wind up here? I'll hide the moonshine.

[dissemblance]

Please, and understand that I am begging you here, get a hammock.

[cleaningsolutions]

Oh. Well, that's still impressive.

[She's being nice, Doc knows more. Dead human languages are of great interest to her even though she cannot understand any of them.]

[wittingly]

I wish
we're both 6 ft tall
even an engineering degree won't fix a hammock

[dissemblance]

Well, Columbia knows their beans. I'm sorry for your tastebuds, which are spoiled, and which do in fact make you a monster. Not everyone can be so lucky.

Ding ding, we have a winner. Unfortunately the only prize I can offer you is egg goop or rat parts, so... pick your poison.

I've got to say 3 for you. How would that even be possible?

（ so sayeth natasha romanoff, who survived worse than that until she didn't. but it's the one that intrigues her, even though she suspects it's probably the red herring of truth. ）

[dissemblance]

Accidentally kidnapped at best.

I don't feel like these people woke up one morning and decided they really wanted a bunch of interdimensional and intertemporal travelers dumped in their laps.

So I'm going to preemptively put you down as a 'no' for Jell-O wrestling night?

[dissemblance]

I'm choosing to believe you're royalty because I read your entire comment in a very posh but incredibly stiff British accent in my head and now you're just Prince Harry's eggy doppelgänger.

And since I'm assuming you're Prince Harry's eggy doppelgänger, it follows logically that you'd know an elderly diplomat with a culinary staff that makes what are, in your opinion, the best lattes.

So, Ministry of Information. Final answer.

（ this one's a little harder to guess, but as with everyone she's replied to, she's going with the answer she thinks will be the most interesting, not the one she necessarily thinks is the lie. ）

[brosbeforeprose]

[oh no, mops, you're adorable. he's flustered!]

🤷🏾💦 It's mostly a matter of having the time to sit around and get it done. Nowadays...or should I say, until this week... I had to make the time. Hard to sit on your ass doing nothing when the town's falling to hell and people keep making you go to meetings. Those two things might be unrelated.

[Look at Varric using the sweating emoji like it's meant to be used. He'll be using it in the worst possible way by next week.]

You could be on to something with escapism, though. I've never been much for the wild and fantastic, but hell, I write about crime families and your rugged everyman turned unlikely saver of the day. Maybe there's some viscount out there reading my books and thinking it might as well be a crashed ship from outer space.

Ever met any unpublished writers? I'm sure there's some hidden gems among the people who don't want to deal with people like my agent.

takes a running leap off of what's actually stated in canon

[cleaningsolutions]

Dr. Adamopoulos was the head of a project that developed a virus with unusual effects and a high infection rate. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be a bioweapon, or a way to make people tougher, or if it was something else entirely. And it's impossible to know the circumstances of its release.

The biographies are closer to articles and they aren't as credible as they might be. When they were written everything was already in the process of breaking down, so there wasn't much in the way of primary sources or fact checking. She was important in developing the feral plague, anyway.

[medik]

What is it you're calling the modern age?

[ Everyone here seems to be from a different time period (if not planet altogether), so it seems to bear asking. After all, everyone considers their own time to be modernity, or at least they in the 1910s did. ]

[dissemblance]

Oh, so overplayed. If we're talking Kansas, I've gotta go with Miracles Out of Nowhere.

（ too soon, sam. too soon. ）

You realize I'm going to have to buy you that shirt now, right?

[dissemblance]

Gigerlings is growing on me, I admit.

Two is absolutely the lie, I like your very clear and formulaic reasonings there. ⭐ Please accept this gold star.

Let's see... I'm going to go with 1. Maybe if you'd said 'second planet' I'd be more willing to buy it, but I'm not entirely convinced there's that many planets in reasonable distance that can support carbon-based life-forms, you know?

（ oh, his is definitely also the second. his first and third are too specific, and all that does is sharpen her interest in him. ）

[brosbeforeprose]

I have to ask, what makes a superhero any more super than your regular run of the mill hero?

[Question for the ages.]

Tasted a bit sweet, kind of earthy. And then like blood when it cut my tongue. In some parts, they'd call "sweet, a little earthy, with a tang of blood" the "bouquet" and charge extra.

And how did you happen to meet Miss Olive?

[dissemblance]

Do you flex when you grab O.J out of the fridge too, Mr. PhD?

[wittingly]

Only after my daily 3 hour shirtless public crossfit training when I'm reaching for my vegan protein shake

If it helps at all, I was about 3 months away from that PhD when the aliens rudely interrupted, so technically I don't get the title

[unclesam]

you know I was about to crack a joke about how I'm too black to know their discography, and then I remembered what was usually playing at the airbase.
no one together comes to mind.

[ How does the begin to tell her about the mess of things, and how far everyone's drifted? Her loss proved and unmooring in many ways. ]

please do. I'd wear it and look damn good in it.

[mylawn]

This guy knows what he's about

[cleaningsolutions]

I didn't know you could do that. Scheduling is the hardest part? I'm impressed.

[She's a little intimidated actually. Mops is very smart for a cured human, but she's the sort to labor at length over an after-action report and struggles to imagine just creating.]

Some of my crewmates on the Pufferfish write as a hobby. We haven't had anyone interested in fiction since Elizabeth Tudor transferred back to Stepping Stone, though. He had a particular genre that wasn't to my taste, but he put a lot of work into it.

[Cured humans choose their names from a database of famous humans (and some fictional characters) and do not care if the genders match, so this is a running thing.

...She is very tactfully not saying that Tudor's stories were monotonous and always about he and his friends, but mostly him, performing feats of ludicrous heroism while people he had some disagreement with failed at basic tasks and either died or were rescued and repented. Writing is hard! He'd only been at it for like three years and he wasn't a person before then!]

[dissemblance]

Mea culpa, *vegan protein shake.

I think an alien invasion probably qualifies someone for an honorary degree.

So was this like, Will Smith in Independence Day style aliens, Will Smith in Men in Black style aliens, or Will Smith in I Am Legend aliens?

Or was that last one zombies? Hard to keep it all straight. If you need a guy to save the universe, I'm just saying... Will Smith.

private dm ↪ un: romanoff

[dissemblance]

You'd probably look good in anything. I've got the leg up on the black nomex/kevlar catsuit, though. Just saying.

What's on your mind, Sam?

[dissemblance]

Stop, please. I can only handle so many grizzled old men in my life being disaffected and gruff.

[dissemblance]

2801, apparently.

But before that, 2023.

[unclesam]

please, do you know how much trouble we'd be in if I were the avenger in the catsuit? devastating, I'm telling you.

please tell me you're also not a fan of how public our means of communication are? 'cause I got ideas for my bird that are incompatible right now.

[ yeah that's totally what's on his mind. nothing else. ]