text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

un. vidar

[spalten]

I don't know, these all seem like lies, and some of them are just terrible opinions to hold in the first place.

I think 1 is the most egregious.

1. I'm actually over 6" tall.
2. I am a pilot.
3. Before I was a pilot, I was a politician.

[dissemblance]

Well, somebody's not a Starbucks fan... it was 2, actually.

I can't think of a single person in the universe who'd go from politician to pilot. Other way around, sure. But that one? Way too much risk. Plus, given the average age of a politician... you'd have to be, what, sixty?

[spalten]

That so? I suppose there are just some things with immense longevity.

You're correct, but you're also too generous on the word. There's always a natural pipeline from prestigious schools to that kind of arena that one shouldn't underestimate.

[dissemblance]

My lack of knowledge about prestigious schools precedes me, I suppose.

It makes sense, though. Privilege, and all that.

[spalten]

Very much so.

What did you do before getting here?

[dissemblance]

Oh, I've done a little bit of everything. I don't think you'd respect my coffee sommelier credentials, though.

[spalten]

Sounds intriguing, but it's also not much to speak of.

Does the coffee world truly have sommeliers??? I don't know if they do ...

[dissemblance]

I'd say 'google it', but the intranet here isn't exactly running google.

It genuinely is a thing, though.

[spalten]

No, it's depriving us of a lot of rather useful functions, isn't it? Unfortunate.

And I suppose I'll take your word for it.

If you find good tea here, I'd be more than happy to show off my skills in brewing tea.

[dissemblance]

There has to be someone here that's boiled the local plants...

Have you tried asking around?

[spalten]

Well, they have some that won't send you to your next life. Or the toilet, for that matter.

I'm being a snob, when I say 'good tea', but I also mean that you're welcome to join me if you please. Tea, as much as coffee, is meant to be enjoyed with company.

[dissemblance]

Are you sure you could handle me?

（ which is honestly just code for 'i'm burning this identity and don't want anyone to actually associate it with the real me', tbh. ）

[spalten]

[ it's ok, 'vidar' technically isn't a real person either ]

Only one way to find out.

@cal

[psychometries]

I definitely believe the first one.

[spalten]

Ah. I should've put a disclaimer. You're not allowed to reply.

[psychometries]

It's a little too late now. Hope I didn't ruin your chances of winning.

[spalten]

I guess I'll have to forgive you. I don't want to lose access to M. BD.

[psychometries]

What am I, second viol?

I'll give it to you, though. BD's a lot more charming.

[spalten]

It can't be helped! It's the same with me and my mobile suit ... most people go for the Gundam first.

You're correct on that though. BD is very cute. Tell him I said so.

[psychometries]

I don't know. His ego is big enough as it is.

[ The joke isn't that BD-1 has a big ego, it's that Cal wouldn't tell him that he's the cutest, bravest, fiercest droid in the galaxy. His soft spot for the droid is parsecs wide. ]

I've been meaning to ask you about your Gundam, actually. Hopefully you don't think I'm going for it first.

[spalten]

Gaslighting and gatekeeping. You're the worst.

Go ahead and ask away. It's there to be admired, after all.

[psychometries]

What do you use it for? The ride to the ship was nice, but I can't imagine that's all it does.

[spalten]

It's a custom assault type. So its primary use is for fighting in space, essentially. It doesn't do too badly on the ground, but there are better mobile suits suited for ground attacks.

It also didn't arrive with all of its armaments here, though that's probably for the best - I imagine most of the citizens here won't take too kindly about the fact that I've got this ridiculous weapon.

[psychometries]

[ So you're telling him it's a human-shaped starfighter. ]

No kidding.

What kind of armaments does it usually have?

[spalten]

[ unfortunately, and just as gay ]

Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't come with its rifle or its handguns. Which is fine, because resources are finite. It at least arrived with its sabre, and that's more than enough to cause damage with anything.