text ↪ un: dostoevsky

[dissemblance]

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that 2801 technology still supports emoji functionality? 🤩 👍 🕷 💁 🩰 💫 🍆 🧊 💅 👁‍🗨 🎯 🤡 🔋 🐈 💲 🧙‍♀️ 🐦💋 🐜 👽 🕶 ⚡ 🕵🏻‍♀️ 💦 💦 💦

It seems like they're pretty set on calling us 'Hatchlings', so... hello, fellow Hatchlings, I'd like to play a game.

Two truths and a lie. I'll start.

  ① Starbucks makes the best lattes.
  ② I've never watched All Dogs Go To Heaven all the way through.
  ③ My birthdate is May 21st. What year? Every year. 😉😉😉 But my party in 2018 was 🔥🔥🔥.

Comments

[unclesam]

yo speaking of, please tell me you've discovered the lord of the rings. or do I get to be the one to introduce you to the hobbit sequel in book and/or movie form?

[neversmall]

[ Some time passes and she manages to type: ]

They gave it eyes! 💩

Why would they give it eyes? 💩💩

[sunmon]

Why is it cute?

[ ok now she's searching more adamantly through this library. ]

[freightcars]

I know about it
Read the books
I'm never gonna watch it.

( for Reasons )

[dissemblance]

😱😱😱

I've created a monster!

[cryptoherpetology]

I'm from one of the Earths, yes. It sounds like there are a few of us from variations of it.

I'm a cryptozoologist, so most everything I deal with is fairly exotic.

[dissemblance]

My best guess is jamesbbarnes1917@yahoo.com 🙃

[dissemblance]

🍻🍻🍻

[neversmall]

I don't know!

It's hilariously awful. And somehow cute?

Why would they give it eyes?

[unclesam]

how come?
I mean, aside from us being here, I guess

[unclesam]

oh he would include a date wouldn't he

[neversmall]

[ ...you can't... set up a girl like that... and expect her not to: ]

💩

[ That's it, she's laughing again. Sorry, not that sorry, whoever you are. ]

[freightcars]

Movies always ruin books
it's a matter of principal

[freightcars]

okay it's NOT
but what's wrong with that? that's a perfectly good email address.

( ah yes you have reached the limit on his assimilation into pop culture. specific, dated internet trends are just a little too niche. )

[unclesam]

jesus you really are that guy, aren't you
for the record, we're going back to old man barnacle for you, you old curmudgeon

[freightcars]

what guy
what?
i'm right
they never get it right, they leave out half the book

( )

[unclesam]

oh my god yours has underscores, hasn't it?
I bet it does.

[unclesam]

barnes & noble.
my man.
my dude.

this might shock you to hear, so please sit your geriatric ass down for a moment.

books and movies ain't the same medium. you can't copypaste that shit for an adaptation.

[dissemblance]

How much time do you have? Because if I get into the fundamental concepts behind democracy, we could be here a while.

[freightcars]

so what if it did? we're judging underscores now too?

[cryptoherpetology]

It's a smaller project than an electron microscope at least.

Crow has the curiosity and prey drive of a cat and the intelligence, flight and simple tool using capabilities of a raven. Honestly, back home I used to buy him a lot of stuff meant for toddlers.

[unclesam]

no, we're judging dates.
we're reading underscores for filth.

[sunmon]

How about the simplest version?
Five minutes.

[freightcars]

I know that, sam's club
I've watched movies from books IN GENERAL
but I draw the line at the hobbit
I'm not letting Hollywood ruin that one for me

[dissemblance]

（ and so roy doesn't have to mail tifa a giant sugar free gummi dick, natasha does in fact give a diligent five minute info-dump on direct versus representative democracy, the fundamental ethics of democratic responsibility, and all the fucking rest of it.

this handy little (written) speech, when spoken aloud, would clock in at around 4:54 seconds.

ya fuckin' welcome.

don't get her started on communism, alina. don't do it. ）