ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏᴜs ᴍᴀɴ ( ᴊᴇɴɴɪғᴇʀ ᴀɴᴋʟᴇs ) (
righteously) wrote in
raianet2021-08-09 08:21 am
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text | un: robert.plant
So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?
whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch
3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross
the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire
this place sucks balls
as you were.
whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch
3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross
the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire
this place sucks balls
as you were.
no subject
( He blurts it out abruptly and emphatically, because ya boy's filter is only capable of so much restraint. They're crossing too many wires right now. )
Either we're talking about erogenous zones or we're talking about gills, but we are not mixing the two. I got enough problems without developing some kind of weird... Pavlovian fish boner association. Leave the body horror out of the bedroom.
( Wait- )
Hammock.
( No, correction again- )
Car.
( A beat. )
Wherever, everywhere, just... ground rule, no neck flaps in the unresolved sexual tension.
( Apparently he's only capable of acknowledging things out loud with direct people words when he's facetiously ranting about something stupid. )
no subject
[ completely flying over all the fuss about fish boners and pavlovian kinks (ignore the small, bemused smile going on during the facetious rant). sounds like a personal problem, bud. ]
The Impala?
[ so we're missing memories, but we're gaining cars? of all the things that could've traveled through the wormhole with them... huh. well, he won't complain about that. unresolved sexual tension in a car definitely beats unresolved sexual tension in a hammock. that's just awkward injuries waiting to happen. ]
What about the wings? [ what exactly are we counting in the body horror category here, becaaaause... ] Are they allowed in the car with the unresolved sexual tension?
[ it might be an honest question, or it might just be prodding dean for another rant, who knows, it is a mystery. ]
no subject
The wings are already attached.
( So, yeah, little too late to ban them from the unresolved sexual tension mobile.
(Just pretending like this isn't a totally loaded conversation, don't mind him, this is normal, he's not feeling anything creeping along the inside of his chest.)
He casts an absent glance over his left shoulder like he's looking for them, but unfortunately (or fortunately? jury's out) Dean's eyes haven't been celestially upgraded to match his back. )
Or... not attached. Fake-attached. I don't know, I can't see 'em so. Doesn't count. Wings get a pass.
( Which is a little funny, considering they're matching his body language for a second there by getting a little twitchy somewhere on the ethereal plane or Narnia or wherever the hell it is they exist. )
no subject
[ wait. ]
Impressive. The most majestic set of ethereal wings I've seen attached to a human.
[ the only ones— shhhhh. with his eyeline past Dean's shoulder, it's clear Castiel's watching the wings and expressive twitches, with a small curve to his lips. he's like a newly minted little celestial not quite sure how to fly yet. castiel's certain this observation of dean's preciousness won't be well received, so he keeps that one to himself.
his fixation with dean's new wings hasn't passed yet, and cas paces around dean's side, hand on his shoulder to keep him from turning with him as he pauses at his back to get a better look. of course, cas likes to look with his hands, so a moment later, a palm rests in the space separating the wings, between dean's shoulder blades, over his spine, and sweeps downward, just bordering where the ethereal meets corporeal. not quite angelic, but close enough to be deeply intriguing. ]
Anything else I should be aware of that's outlawed in the car?
[ the unresolved sexual tension mobile. is 'in the car' going to be their code for sex now? ]
no subject
Couple that with Cas getting handsy again, and the lump's forming itself back in Dean's throat again. It's just his shoulder, it's just his back, it's nothing Cas hasn't had a hand on a hundred times before.
It's different, and though he stays obediently still his jaw tucks and turns in Cas's direction a few inches to better watch his profile. )
I'll write you a list.
( It would sound more effectively dry if his voice didn't get a little quieter, a little lower.
While they're on the subject: )
It's not just wings.
( Not the car thing, he's jumped tracks a little. Shifted gears toward his whole thing in general, since Cas seems keen on studying his business. Plus, he's suddenly curious as hell about the reaction he'll get when he does it -- moves back just a few inches, not to pull away but rather to reach up and press two fingers to Castiel's forehead.
Blue glowing chest. Gentle rush of pure energy. Near-invisible shimmer in the air. Hashtag blessed, enjoy your stab-free 8 hours. )