text | un: lance

[lifetothefullest]

Hi everyone. I haven't met that many of you since I've been mostly busy with the aid station, but I'm Lance.

I've done this whole 'waking up in another world' thing a few times now and in every one, there's been an issue of information getting lost. The more scattered our knowledge and experience is, the more difficult things are for everyone involved, and that includes the Adamant survivors who are kind of along for the ride in terms of whatever weirdness is surrounding us being here. So the more we know, the better for all of us.

It'd be helpful if we had access to the crew's information, but since we don't our best option is to collaborate and share what we do know with each other. Being as aware as we can of the situation will help us coordinate any future plans, and if we happen to find out something that the crew doesn't know themselves, record-keeping will help them too since they can access this network.

So far, I'm aware of public discussions about sharing things learned in conversations with the Thessyx, doing a headcount, and mapping the Adamant. We should probably also compile what we know about the animals and plants we've dealt with, things learned during scouting or exploration trips, and anything else we can think of that might be helpful.

However, I know from experience that keeping track of all this information can be kind of a big job, so if anyone is interested in handling organizing a portion of it, please feel free to say so. We'll just want to be sure that all the records are public and easily found by anyone looking for them.

Comments

[wittingly]

Might make a good jumping-off point for your initial sessions.

( He sounds a little knowing as he says it, and he shoots Lance a look through his lashes. It's not even slightly subtle, this gentle broach of the subject, but he's not really trying to be.

Hey, man. How's counseling going? Sure seems like a lot of mental effort on your low mental resources right now. )

I can build you an office with a fainting-couch if you need one.

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance gives him a flat look for those comments, not exactly bristling, but a little defensive. He knows this probably isn't the best idea, but also doesn't necessarily want to hear it.]

Word's getting around already?

[Not that it was a secret or anything, and the crew needs whatever gossip they can latch onto. But he shrugs a little, shifting on his feet.]

I'm not counseling yet. Just studying. My degrees may make me more qualified than anyone else, but that isn't saying much when they're still several hundred years out of date.

[Let's talk about how annoying those technical details are rather than the issue of whether or not he should be working on starting counseling in the first place.]

[wittingly]

( Yes, shame on Ian for saying stuff that might be true but that Lance doesn't necessarily want to hear. Who does that to somebody, really? Terrible, rude.

He shrugs an absent shoulder, flickering his eyes around the dirt, the lights, the beams, the general cave aesthetic of the room around them. Several hundred years out of date doesn't really... feel all that out of date right now, considering. )

You were in New Amsterdam for a while.

( He offers up generously. Not that Lance was really working in the field then, but it's still a little exposure to the way humanity progressed, right? Better than nothing. )

Besides, how different could it be? People are still... people. Living with them doesn't feel all that drastically different. Not so far, anyway.

[lifetothefullest]

[Seriously rude.

He watches Ian's gaze shift, and he appreciates the attempt at encouragement even if he doesn't necessarily agree with all of it. But he's deflecting, and so isn't going to get into that; instead, something more technical seems like a better choice.]

I imagine most of the advancements have been in neuroscience, which have then led to the tailoring of therapeutic techniques to fit that new information as connections between conditions, mental pathways and patterns, environmental factors, and other similar areas have been studied more extensively. But the core techniques for therapy are probably still very similar, or at least I hope they are.

[They worked, at home, so they can't be too off base. Maybe just more targeted or quicker now, which would both be beneficial changes, so he can't complain too much.]

The real suffering would be if I were a psychiatrist. So much pharmacology to catch up on.

[wittingly]

Wait, you're not a psychiatrist?

( Faux-surprise; he's totally kidding, they've definitely had this conversation before. )

I mean, I'm sure you're right. They've probably narrowed the whole field down to like... five conversations to fix neurosis or something. Doesn't seem like anybody here knows them, though, and it's not like you were treating people by bloodletting with angry leeches, so. No matter what, you're gonna be helping people.

( Not that he means to be reductive about the whole thing. They've made hundreds of years of progress in technology and architecture, too, but Ian's still down there helping them build a shelter. Something is definitely better than nothing. )

I just wanna make sure you're not, you know. Doing that thing.

[lifetothefullest]

[He gives Ian another flat look for that first comment, but it's a more joking one than before, and the rest of what he says is genuinely encouraging. Helping people is the point, and as quietly annoyed as he is that he's not really an expert in his field anymore, he can put that aside if helping people can still be the final outcome.

But then there's that last remark, and Lance sighs a little before offering lightly--]

What thing, taking on a bunch of work and then also working in my time off? You've got that covered.

[He is so not letting Ian get away with claiming to be doing fine with all of this but then also calling Lance out for it.]

[wittingly]

( The look he shoots back is the facial equivalent of yeah, yeah, shut up already. They've got that covered, they both know what he's doing. )

Not just that. I mean, like...

( And this is where he's at a disadvantage; he's an engineer, not a psychologist, he has no idea what he's talking about really. It takes him a second to try and explain it in a way he thinks makes sense. )

There's burying yourself in work so you don't deal with your problems, yeah, but... the stuff I'm building doesn't come with its own... emotional labor. It doesn't weigh anything for me to fix it. Helping people out with their baggage is... something else. It depletes energy. I'm just worried about making sure you can keep up with refueling yours.

[lifetothefullest]

[Some of his defensiveness drains a little more at how genuinely concerned Ian is, and he gives another, longer sigh as he crosses his arms and shrugs.]

I'm not really good at anything else.

[Which isn't entirely true, but the idea is probably clear enough; he can't help in the sorts of way Ian might, in building and fixing things. He glances off to the side briefly, shifting on his feet a little.]

I want to be doing something that'll actually make a difference.

[Both for the sake of other people and for himself; if he can help people, then maybe it'll give some meaning to getting through everything else he's dealing with.]

[wittingly]

( They've seriously gotten really far along on this whole honesty thing since they've known each other. Slow going, sure but here they are now -- Ian admitting a worry he does actually feel, Lance not denying the toll it must take on him.

There's a subtle shift in his brow and the downturn of his lips that makes it clear he's not particularly happy with the answer. He wants to disagree with it -- that's not all Lance is good at -- but at the end of the day... well, the guy's got like fifteen doctorates for exactly this, doesn't he? It'd be a little like Ian getting tired of building stuff and switching to mopping floors or something. Just somehow a little off.

What makes this an issue that's impossible to argue is that last sentiment; actually making a difference. He knows the feeling, he's pretty sure he said something similar to Lance not all that long ago, he'd be a hypocrite now if he tried to talk Lance through some kind of logic-loop to get away from that. )

Look, can you at least... promise you'll try to find some balance? Start out small, go easy, make sure you're taking enough time to actually... feel good for like ten minutes before you dive back into somebody's traumatic psyche?

[lifetothefullest]

[They've definitely come a long way, both together and as individuals. Forming a relationship strong enough to convince someone who may be closed off that it's safe to reach out is a feat in itself, just as much so as being willing to extend trust in return. And, so far, they've been making both aspects work on both sides, at least as much as they could ever be expected to manage at this point.

Lance appreciates that Ian seems to understand why this is important, and that he does makes it easier to nod in agreement with his request. It also makes it easier to offer a little admission in return, a stronger assurance that he's listening.]

I will. I have no desire to end up repeating Hadriel.

[He's learned from his mistakes, and even if putting that into practice can be difficult, he fully intends to do his best.

But that promised, his posture relaxes a little more, and though he doesn't uncross his arms it's now more contemplative than defensive as he decides this is a good point to shift the conversation a little. It isn't a deflection, exactly, but more an attempt to even things out and also something he's been meaning to ask anyway.]

Speaking of taking time, how have you been doing with everything? Work aside.

[It's probably clear that he means 'with the alien issue', so no need to actually say it.]

[wittingly]

( Maybe they shouldn't be given too much credit. Right now is an example of Ian only sharing because he'd feel like an asshole if he didn't. It's unbalanced to poke at Lance's vulnerable spots and offer up nothing in return. Sharing via guilty obligation rather than any normal-person desire to open up. Whatever works?

He exhales, ruffling a hand over his hair. Palm's a little dirty, but then again, so's his hair. )

I don't know, ya know? After they showed up... I'm... tired, and I think I'm at the point where I'm realizing this is permanent in a way that's more than just logically. ( There's knowing, and then there's knowing. ) Not just... being here, but the way everything... feels every day. There's no going back to the way things felt in New Amsterdam.

( That sense of ease, of safety, of connectedness. Feeling like himself. Even when he felt stressed there, monster apocalypse aside, it was on a different... lesser kind of level than what he feels here on a day to day basis. And yeah, he's been isolating himself in his work, so probably nobody to blame for that disconnectedness but himself. Still, shut up. The alternative's worse.

He shrugs a shoulder, one up and one heavy down. )

It sucks, but...

( It is what it is. )