text ↪ a. price

[cryptoherpetology]

Hey, I don't want to make too many assumptions, but I imagine a lot of people here haven't slept in hammocks before. If you're not used to them, they can be pretty uncomfortable, so here are some tips I've picked up while camping that've kept me from too many sleepless nights in the woods:

- Sit down when you get in instead of trying to climb in horizontally. This will make it easier to avoid tipping.

- Lay diagonally so that your knees don't hyperextend while you're on your back. After that you can shift up or down to where you're most comfortable, and should even be able to lay on your side.

- Not so useful right now, but if you're losing heat, add a layer of blanketing under the hammock with a few inches of slack hanging. You lose a lot more heat in a hammock than you do on a mattress due to the air flow, and this way you'll catch some of your own body heat to insulate yourself better.

- Try hanging the food end a little higher if you find yourself slipping.

- A pillow under your knees might help more than under your head if you're sleeping on your back.


I was going to offer to teach some kind of formal camping/survival course, but schedules here can change quickly and I'm a pretty terrible public speaker.
Instead, I'm just going to make an open-ended offer to just be willing to teach anyone what I can as you need it. If you weren't raised to live in the woods for weeks on end to hide from the secret genocidal organization your ancestors defected from, or you just weren't in any Scouting programs as a kid, let me know what I can help you with and I'll do my best.

Comments

@weaverville

[wittingly]

Awesome thing to offer, man. Let me know if you need any supplies or anything.

[cryptoherpetology]

If you want a wish list, that'll have to wait til I know what people want to learn.

But as a general rule when offering me things, I never say no to more knives.

[wittingly]

Bring me a knife whenever you want. I can duplicate and/or reshape, it shouldn't take more than a minute or two.

[cryptoherpetology]

If a petite blonde woman with a tattoo sleeve and a backpack full of grenades jumps out of a dimensional portal to declare you her new favorite grandson, I won't even be terribly shocked.

[wittingly]

I have several questions
is it a random portal
is it a random grandma or your grandma
why does she have a backpack of grenades
who is my competition, because I need to stay on top of the rankings here

[cryptoherpetology]

You're almost definitely going to have more.

she controls them, kind of, so not random but definitely also not predictable
Grandma Alice is my paternal grandmother, but looked younger than me the last time I saw her. Frequent dimension hopping can apparently Benjamin Button a person a little every so often when you do it the way she does. Which, no, she won't explain to anyone else in the family.
She uses them a lot but we also haven't ruled out sentimental attachment
Myself and my cousin Artie. She currently has made no declaration between the two of us but the potential for endless knives would definitely end her stance of grandchild neutrality.

[wittingly]

I haven't had a grandma since I was like four, so jockeying for first place is suddenly the most important thing on my priorities list.

Your life is fucking weird, man.

[cryptoherpetology]

You're a human 3D printer who's been through two dimensional jumps. I think we might be tied for weird.

Disappearing into another reality has probably put me lower in the running for Best Grandson too, so you've got a pretty good chance overall.

[wittingly]

Yep, you know what, you got me there.

Thanks for the pick-me-up. This has been coffee for the soul.

[cryptoherpetology]

Glad I can be of use even to people who don't need tips for falling asleep into a hammock without turning into the letter U.

[wittingly]

I'm 6'1 so it's really more of a V shape