( He clicks his teeth a little, shakes his head slowly. )
It's not... really about what he thinks as much as it is about what he doesn't think. It's-- the shit we had to do...
( He chews the inside of his cheek for a second, muting his frustration back down again and collecting his thoughts before he picks back up. )
We didn't make it out of the city for six weeks. We were on the road for more like six months, moving around just to find places to... survive for a couple days, because we had nowhere to go. There were-- they had these ships that kind of acted like giant magnets, they're quiet right up until they aren't. They use them to rip entire buildings up out of the ground and compact them for transport. It took months to find Crater Lake, and it's not like everything was just magically fine after that. Everybody still went on runs. Everybody still had to go out every week or something, and... deal with all that shit. Patrols that would sweep in and drag you off to a work camp if you got caught, the building you're in maybe getting ripped up before you can make it out, other people- other humans being fucking... crazy.
( As humans are wont to do.
And, yeah, now he knows what he was trying to work toward without yet being able to articulate it —)
My point is, I dealt with stuff way worse than this and I did it without either of you guys, and I was fine then. I know how to keep it together, unpredictable feelings or not. That-- this-- was normal for me like three times longer than I've known you. I'm more used to this than New Amsterdam. Neither of you guys need to worry about me as much as it seems like you are.
no subject
It's not... really about what he thinks as much as it is about what he doesn't think. It's-- the shit we had to do...
( He chews the inside of his cheek for a second, muting his frustration back down again and collecting his thoughts before he picks back up. )
We didn't make it out of the city for six weeks. We were on the road for more like six months, moving around just to find places to... survive for a couple days, because we had nowhere to go. There were-- they had these ships that kind of acted like giant magnets, they're quiet right up until they aren't. They use them to rip entire buildings up out of the ground and compact them for transport. It took months to find Crater Lake, and it's not like everything was just magically fine after that. Everybody still went on runs. Everybody still had to go out every week or something, and... deal with all that shit. Patrols that would sweep in and drag you off to a work camp if you got caught, the building you're in maybe getting ripped up before you can make it out, other people- other humans being fucking... crazy.
( As humans are wont to do.
And, yeah, now he knows what he was trying to work toward without yet being able to articulate it —)
My point is, I dealt with stuff way worse than this and I did it without either of you guys, and I was fine then. I know how to keep it together, unpredictable feelings or not. That-- this-- was normal for me like three times longer than I've known you. I'm more used to this than New Amsterdam. Neither of you guys need to worry about me as much as it seems like you are.