[Lance gives a small, mostly humorless smile at the first comment; the particular topic is a little funny, but the rest of what he's saying is not. But the rest of it fills in a little more information he hadn't wanted to ask about, as well as giving him a bit more insight in some of Ian's behavior that he'd only had guesses for before.

He would tell Ian that he's mistaken about how well Lance can handle things, just to eliminate that as an excuse, but he doesn't want to risk turning the conversation back on himself especially when Ian is actually opening up a little. So, instead he nods, expression even and understanding as usual although he notes that Ian seems to be getting frustrated with himself.]

That isn't pathetic. It's a pretty common way of dealing--or not dealing--with grief.

[He does want to make that clear. Obviously it's not a healthy manifestation of the grieving process, but it is one that happens all the time.]

I get that you don't want to go through that again, especially if it means you're taking yourself out of a position where you might be able to prevent something bad from happening. But repressing the issues doesn't make them go away, it just makes them unpredictable.

[And that means they'll still come up, one way or another, only they won't be something that can be planned for.]