text | un: robert.plant

[righteously]

So we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'getting pooped out by a dragon' thing?

whoever owns the giant chicken with the bow tie, I'm gonna deep-fry that bitch

3 minutes is not long enough to shower off egg membrane, that's freaking disgusting okay
just flat-out unhygienic, period
gross

the first time I hear somebody jerking off in a hammock I'm gonna set it on fire

this place sucks balls

as you were.

Comments

[wittingly]

it IS hilarious

[cryptoherpetology]

You're encouraging this kind of behavior with him.

[wittingly]

We shouldn't argue our co-parenting strategies in front of the children, the baby book said we need to present a unified front

[cryptoherpetology]

You're more like the uncle who gets him McDonalds at three in the afternoon and drops him off too full for dinner.

[wittingly]

I feel like you're saying that in a way that's supposed to make me feel bad, but everybody loves that uncle

[cryptoherpetology]

Kids really benefit from that uncle, but creatures with razor-sharp talons sometimes need structure to be a little more enforced.

If he finds the local equivalent to squirrels, they're going to end up in your shoes as his thank you gifts, you know. You might regret the bribery if it starts in kind.

[wittingly]

You're making me doubt my bow tie commitment all of a sudden
I'm not emotionally prepared for this

[cryptoherpetology]

I did say he shared a lot of traits with both cats and crows. Gift-giving with humans he's bonded with is a trait he shares with both.

[wittingly]

Weighing the pros and cons of griffin costumes vs. dead alien squirrel surprises is something no man should have to do sober

I'd like to schedule a professional consultation, doctor

( aka time to smoke a huge bowl and pull out a whiteboard to literally make a list, for the entertainment factor )

[cryptoherpetology]

Do you really want to hear me talk about geckos for 20 minutes after one bong hit?

[wittingly]

There is literally nothing I want more in my life right now

[cryptoherpetology]

If it will get you to stop overfeeding Crow, fine.

If I get paranoid and start warding the place against ghosts, at least you know the sigils will be accurate.

[wittingly]

wow put that on the list of stuff we're 100% gonna talk about

don't worry about it, I'm a pot guru, I'll shepherd you through it, I have an mp3 player, it'll be fine

[cryptoherpetology]

for the sake of my tension headache, I will put trust in you and the gardening abilities of the crew.

[wittingly]

I won't let you down, Dr. Price
swing by whenever
& by whenever I mean after it's too dark to work anymore preferably

[righteously]

sorry to interrupt the love connection here fellas
back up

are you a hunter?

[cryptoherpetology]

I'm a cryptozoologist, but I've hunted things that were threats to people, some of which have been ghosts or other forms of life the scientific community has left undocumented. It's how I ended up with a pet like Crow.

[ He found a flock of griffins that were too hostile to relocate, but found there was a baby after he culled them. ]

[righteously]

( a cryptowhatnow? )

gesundheit



so you're a nerd-hunter. got it.

how's it shaking so far in terms of spirit activity and the local monster population? we looking all alien or there anything in-house we need to be worrying about?

[cryptoherpetology]

We are the aliens and supernatural activity here, as far as I can tell. We've had pretty minimal impact on the ecosystem, but the local sapient species views anyone who came here via the eggs as religious figures.

So, y'know. No pressure or anything.

@oakland

[spacedicks]

seconded
im here for that blazed lizard ted talk

[wittingly]

we are so overdue

( it's a hard knock stoner life without your best partner in stoned, he's been braving these treacherous weed waters with only the occasional guest star )

[spacedicks]

fam i'm processing a lot of shit im way too fucking sober for rn
please
get me lit and slap me down in front of a dude making me nostalgic for geico

[ you've suffered too long, comrade. he's here to reinstate 'wanna do drugs about it' hour and get you a less liver damaging vice to cope with this new dumb alien fuckery. ]

[wittingly]

you're not in any way prepared for this:
dr. alex has a pet griffin
he wears bow ties

[spacedicks]

i think u mean dr. pet griffin
i automatically respect anything with a bow tie 20x more than anything without
is dr. griffin attending the herbal ted talk too?

[wittingly]

nah I tried a stethoscope, he didn't like that one so much, no passion for the medical field
who can blame him, it's a lot of stress for somebody with talons

he kept the law enforcement badge on for a while though
deputy griffin is bound to show up, considering I've been overfeeding him he tends to hover, much to dr. alex's chagrin